January 12,
1900
Difference between knowledge of self and humility. Jesus alone can
glory in possessing true humility. Volume 3
Finding myself in my usual state, my adorable Jesus
came in a pitiful state. He had His hands bound tightly, His face covered
with spit, and many people were slapping Him horribly. And He remained
quiet, placid, without making one movement or emitting one lament; not even a
batting of eyelashes, in order to show that He Himself wanted to suffer these
outrages; and this, not only externally, but also internally. What a
moving scene, such as to break the hardest hearts! How many things that
Face said, with that spit hanging, dirtied with mud! I felt horrified, I
trembled, I saw myself all pride before Jesus.
While He was in that appearance, He said to
me: “My daughter, only the little ones let themselves be handled as one
wants; not those who are little of human reason, but those who are little yet
filled with divine reason. I alone can say that I am humble, because in
man, that which is said to be humility should rather be called knowledge of
self; and one who does not know himself already walks in
falsehood.”
Jesus remained silent
for a few minutes, and I stayed there, contemplating Him. While I was
doing this, I saw a hand carrying a light, which, searching in my interior, in
the most intimate hiding places, wanted to see whether the knowledge of myself
and love of humiliations, confusions and opprobriums, were present in me.
That light found a void in my interior – and I too saw it – which had to be
filled with humiliations and confusions, in the example of blessed Jesus.
Oh, how many things that light and that holy Face which was before me, made me
understand! I said to myself: ‘A God, humiliated and confused for
love of me, and I, a sinner, without these insignia! A God, stable, firm
in bearing so many insults, to the point that He does not move, not one bit, to
shake that disgusting spit off of Himself. Ah, His interior before God,
and His exterior before men are made manifest to me; and yet, if He wanted to
free Himself, He could, because it is not the chains that bind Him, but His
firm Will, which wants to save mankind at any cost. And I? And I? Where
are my humiliations? Where, the firmness, the constancy in doing good for love
of my Jesus and for love of my neighbor? Ah, how different we are as
victims – myself and Jesus! Ah, we are not similar at all!
While my little brain
was wandering in this, my adorable Jesus told me: “Only my Humanity was
filled with opprobriums and humiliations, to the point that they overflowed
outside. This is why Heaven and earth tremble before my virtues, and the
souls who love Me use my Humanity as a staircase in order to ascend and lap up
a few little drops of my virtues. Tell me now: before my humility,
where is yours? I alone can glory in possessing true humility. My
Divinity, united to my Humanity, could operate prodigies at each step, word and
work; yet, I voluntarily constrained Myself within the circle of my Humanity, I
showed Myself as the poorest, and I reached the point of mingling with sinners
themselves. I could have done the Work of Redemption in very little time,
and even with one single word; yet, during the course of many years, with many
hardships and sufferings, I wanted to make the miseries of man my own; I wanted
to exercise Myself in many different actions, so that man might be completely
renewed and divinized, even in the lowest works. In fact, once they had
been exercised by Me, who was God and Man, they received new splendor, and
remained with the mark of divine works. My Divinity, hidden within my
Humanity, wanted to lower Itself to such baseness, subjecting Itself to the
course of human actions - while with one single act of my Will I could have
created infinite worlds - feeling the miseries and the weaknesses of others as
if they were Its own, seeing Itself covered with all the sins of men before
Divine Justice, having to pay their penalty at the price of unheard-of pains
and with the shedding of all Its Blood…. Thus It exercised continuous
acts of profound and heroic humility.
Oh daughter, here is the
immense difference between my humility and the humility of creatures, even that
of all of my Saints, which is only a shadow in the face of mine; because the
creature is always a creature and does not know, as I know, how great is the
weight of sin. Even though heroic souls, following my example, have
offered themselves to suffer the pains of others, their pains are not different
from those of the other creatures; they are not new things for them, because
they are made of the same clay. Moreover, the mere thought that those
pains are the cause of new gains, and that they glorify God, is a great honor
for them. Furthermore, the creature is restricted within the circle in
which God placed her, and she cannot go out of those limits within which she
has been circumscribed by God. Oh, if it were in their power to do or
undo things, how many other things they would do - everyone would reach the
stars! But my divinized Humanity had no limits, yet It voluntarily
constrained Itself within Itself; and this was the braiding of all my works
with heroic humility.
This had been the cause
of all evils which inundate the earth – lack of humility; and by exercising
this virtue, I was to draw all goods from Divine Justice. Ah, yes, no
concessions of graces come from my throne, if not by means of humility, nor can
any ticket be received by Me, if it does not carry the signature of
humility. No prayer is listened to by my ears, and moves my Heart to
compassion, if it is not perfumed by the fragrance of humility. If the
creature does not arrive at destroying that seed of honor, of esteem – and this
can be destroyed by arriving at loving to be despised, humiliated, confused –
she will feel a braiding of thorns around her heart; she will feel a void in
her heart which will always bother her, and will render her very dissimilar
from my Most Holy Humanity. If she does not arrive at loving
humiliations, at the most she will be able to know herself a little bit, but
will not shine before Me, clothed with the garment of humility, beautiful and
worthy of sympathy.”
Who can say how many
things I understood about this virtue, and the difference between knowledge of
self and humility? I seemed to touch with my own hand the distinction
between these two virtues, but I have no words to explain myself.
In order to say
something, I will use an image. For example, a poor man says he is poor,
and he frankly manifests his poverty, also to people who do not know him and
who may believe that he possesses something. One can say that he knows
himself and tells the truth; and because of this, he is loved more, he moves
others to compassion for his miserable state, and everyone helps him. So
it is to know oneself. If then, feeling ashamed of manifesting his
poverty, that poor man boasted of being rich, while everyone knows that he does
not even have clothes to cover himself and that he is dying of starvation –
what happens? Everyone despises him, nobody helps him, and he becomes an
object of mockery and ridicule to anyone who knows him; and the miserable one,
going from bad to worse, ends up dying. So is pride before God and also
before other men. And here is how one who does not know himself already
leaves the truth and slumps into the path of falsehood.
Now, here is the
difference with humility, though it seems to me that knowledge of self and
humility are sisters born of the same womb, and one can never be humble if he
does not know himself. For example, there is a rich man who, out of love
for humiliations, stripping himself of his noble garments, covers himself with
miserable rags. He lives unknown, manifesting to no one who he is; he
mingles with the poorest, he lives with the poor as if he were one of them, and
makes scorns and confusions his delights. Here is the beautiful sister of
the knowledge of self, which is humility.
Ah, yes, humility draws grace; humility breaks the
strongest chains, which are sin. Humility surmounts any wall of division
between the soul and God, and brings her back to Him. Humility is a
little plant, but always green and flowery, not subject to being gnawed by
worms; nor will winds, hail or heat be able to do harm to it, or make it
wither, even slightly. Though being the littlest plant, humility produces
very high branches, which penetrate even into Heaven, braiding around the Heart
of Our Lord; and only the branches which come from this plant have free access
into that adorable Heart. Humility is the anchor of peace during the
storms of the sea waves of this life. Humility is the salt which spices
all virtues and preserves the soul from the corruption of sin. Humility
is the little grass which sprouts along the way treaded by wayfarers; while
being treaded, it disappears, but soon one can see it sprout again, more
beautiful than before. Humility is like a gentle graft, which renders the
wild plant gentle. Humility is the sunset of guilt. Humility is the
newborn of grace. Humility is like the moon, which guides us in the
darkness of the night of this life. Humility is like that shrewd merchant
who knows well how to trade his riches, and wastes not even one cent of the
grace that is given to him. Humility is the key of the door of Heaven,
such that no one can enter into It if he does not keep this key in good
custody. Finally – otherwise I would never end and I would be too long –
humility is the smile of God and of all Heaven, and it is the crying of all
hell.
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